urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:fallsalot174 fallsalot174 fallsalot174 2004-02-26T20:26:06Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:fallsalot174:2531 2004-02-26T20:26:06Z 2004-02-26T20:26:06Z Nothingness in the end, we will all be equal. in the end. it is now my end. in about 2 hours, i am gone. rob, i love you forever. goodbye urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:fallsalot174:2263 2004-02-25T20:42:23Z 2004-02-25T20:42:23Z Drowning Pool Is winter gonna be over anytime soon?? It's still fucking freezing and its almost March. Shouldn't spring be getting here soon? So yeah, life has gotten a lil bit more interesting so I now have something worth while to write about! yay. So let's go over it all. Finally have all the parts we need for the Mustang so it should be done by March 3, 2098. Haha its me and Jason; we sorta procrastinate a bit. Um, then what? Yeah, then I talked to my friend *Semore and he told me my friend *Borrice wants to get on me, which in guy terms I do believe means he likes me, so then I had to get ahold of *Borrice and see wtf was up. So I guess me and him are going on a date this weekend... but I'll believe that when I see it. He's too cheap. haha. Sorry, had to. OK moving on. This one friend of mine who we will call *Girth (my favorite name) who told me that we completely finished with our other friend who we will call *Pickles , has apparently restarted up their "best-buds" relationship with that person. Not surprising really considering that they have done this about 8 times in all the time I have known the both of them. It's getting annoying though. I think I am completely finshed with the both of them. Yes, yes I am a bitch, I know. :-) Continueing along... Finally fixed up the other car, with the crack in the back from me at Matt's house. You can still sorta see it, but I think I got most of it sealed up. heh yea... go me? Oh, and I think I am getting sicker now too (ED) and I just got over the flu like, last week!! Fucking friends! My friends are not having a good month. Or year for that matter. But yea, I finally got a new microphone for this computer so I can continue recording my music!! yay. Oh and here is the new song I wrote... <br /><br />'Teenage Stake'<br /><br />See the boy with the heroin eyes<br />All caught up in a web of lies<br />What could have caused him so much pain<br />To make him stick suicide in his veins?<br /><br />Every day he feels cursed to be still living<br />And into his arm, his teenage stake is driven<br />And in his head I can still hear him singing<br />"Farewell cruel world, I cannot go on living<br />I’ll see you in the dreams you wish, cause I’ll always keep on wishing"<br /><br />All of these children with death on their minds<br />Whatever happened to the stars in their eyes<br />They found that life only crumbles with time<br />And their best is always a step behind<br /><br />For a girl to try to cut herself<br />And want to be somebody else<br />Something’s gotta be wrong with this life<br />To make her slice that skin with a knife<br /><br />Every night I can see her stare into the sky<br />Wondering how much longer she’ll be alive<br />She says a little prayer to me asking only “why?”<br />Speaking of her suicide, to that which she’ll deny<br /><br />I know tomorrow she’ll take what she was given<br />And through her heart, her teenage stake is driven<br />Beside her bed lie a note and in her blood was written<br />"Farewell cruel world, I cannot go on living<br />I’ll see you in the dreams you wish, cause I’ll always keep on wishing<br />I’ll see you in the afterlife cause I’m done, done living"<br /><br />All of these children with death on their minds<br />Whatever happened to the stars in their eyes<br />They found that life only crumbles with time<br />And their best is always a step behind<br /><br />To all you kids with death on your minds<br />Take some advice from one of your kind<br />I used to feel the same way as you<br />I’ve got the scars on my wrists to prove it too<br />When you wish to be dead and gone<br />Find the strength to carry on<br />For tomorrow holds the tides of change<br />So let these words wash away your pain<br />Wash away the pain<br /><br />...yea thats about it, but I mite make some changes later. Sorta relates the mood I've been in for most of this month. My shrink had to up my Prozac, lol. Yea I'm at like, 20mg or sumfin now? Yea, wow. I'm a nut job, I know but you all love me anyways :-* muah. Peace out my little fuckers! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:fallsalot174:1934 2004-02-24T00:42:10Z 2004-02-24T00:42:10Z Sum random country shit I am sick. Damn the flu and damn whoever gave it to me! I just flipping got over what I had before. I'm going to bed and I dont feel like writing, so poo. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:fallsalot174:1590 2004-02-21T22:01:02Z 2004-02-21T22:01:02Z Disturbed Yea, so its saturday. Not bad really I guess. Went out to Amherst and visited my buddy Eddie. Went out to eat and then to Midway Mall. Yea fun stuff. Then took him to Matt's house and ran the SUV in that stupid telephone pole in his back yard. Just a lil crack on the bumper, but shhh don't tell anyone. I need some more Prozak. I am honestly in a shit mood. Not even sure why cause it's fun an okay kinda day. For some reason, I feel like jumping off a building though. Hm? Kill me now. Rar. Yea, thats all I have to say so I am now going to do something productive, like, taking 1000 mg of adderol and then down it with sum whiskey. Goodbye. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:fallsalot174:1356 2004-02-19T23:14:47Z 2004-02-19T23:14:47Z Eminem, Kill You... heh yea blah about somes it all up. At least tomorrow is Friday. That means that I will get to sleep in soon. Maybe. In the past four days I think I've gotten a total of maybe nine hours of sleep... really sad. No sleep makes me the ice bitch, so watch out. :-/ I want to kill all my friends, and I don't know if it is the lack of sleep that is coming out, or they are just getting more and more annoying by the day. But yea, guess what?! I wrote a song about it!!! haha<br /><br />**Changes**<br />Run away back<br />And face the fear<br />Swallow your pride<br />And fight off a tear.<br />Fly away home<br />Win the fight<br />Give back the shit<br />Do what's right<br />It's so easy to preach<br />What you do not do<br />So hypocritical<br />To be so you.<br /><br />...Fakeness is just sinning<br />Cause you just try to keep on grinning<br />But no matter what you say or do<br />The people are still winning.<br /><br />You change yourself<br />Into someone else<br />Your respect dies away<br />And the pain inside wells.<br />Just trying to hard<br />To be what you're not<br />You don't realize<br />All you've got.<br />Don't try to lie to me<br />And put on a happy front<br />Cause I can see right through<br />To who you are and what you're not.<br /><br /><br />You dug yourself <br />In deep this time<br />Buried over<br />By the lies.<br />Try to cover your demise<br />But all you can do is try...<br />Try to be <br />Someone new<br />Hating everything<br />That is you.<br />Turn everything<br />Upside down<br />Then they will never<br />See you frown.<br /><br />...Fakeness is just sinning<br />Cause you just try to keep on grinning<br />But no matter what you say or do<br />The people are still winning.<br /><br /><br />You change yourself<br />Into someone else<br />Your respect dies away<br />And the pain inside wells.<br />Just trying to hard<br />To be what you're not<br />You don't realize<br />All you've got.<br />Don't try to lie to me<br />And put on a happy front<br />Cause I can see right through<br />To who you are and what you're not.<br /><br />Stop changing everything<br />Into what it isnt<br />You know it ain't right...<br />Don't be a fool<br />This is one fight, one fight<br />Run away....<br /><br />You change yourself<br />Into someone else<br />Your respect dies away<br />And the pain inside wells.<br />Just trying to hard<br />To be what you're not<br />You don't realize<br />All you've got.<br />Don't try to lie to me<br />And put on a happy front<br />Cause I can see right through<br />To who you are and what you're not.<br /><br />yep, this one is getting sent out to a few people. heh. but now I am gonna go eat sum din din.<br />**See ya on the flip side** urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:fallsalot174:1115 2004-02-19T01:24:39Z 2004-02-19T01:24:39Z HAHAHA almost crashed the car. But hey, its me, who's surprised? Running red lights is fun though. But anyways, found out today that friends don't necessarily mean trustworthy... yea like a "friend" of mine saying shit behind my back like they're all better than me. WTF ever. Damnit stupid people. Stupidness is a fucking disease, I swear it spreads around like one. Everyday one of my friends becomes stupid(er*) * yea some were pretty dum to begin with. This weekend I have decided to go aimlessly driving so if I come knocking at your door, don't be surprised. <br /> Oh but I wrote a song... or more like a white girl rap. It's a tad pyscotic, angry, and violent, so please don't be offended. :-D<br /> <br /> *The bitch song* (no dedication required, just to all my girl buds who have fucked me over :-) )<br /><br />This shit, it must end<br />Fuck off, leave me be<br />Or you're going to get yours<br />Just wait and see<br />I will be, your fears<br />Your very worst dream<br />I will tear you apart<br />Rip your insides to cream.<br />And believe me its true<br />I was finally okay.<br />Then you started back up<br />With you horrid fucking games.<br />Stupid little girl<br />You got me before<br />But I won't let you treat me<br />Like some little whore<br />A whore you can play with<br />And jerk all around<br />I've found out your soft spot<br />So just get to the ground.<br />Beg my forgiveness<br />Cause you ruined my life<br />I had finally got a way<br />To blow off my strife<br />It was him, he made me happy<br />Until there was you.<br />Slut! You fucked it all up<br />And you know that its true.<br />It's your fault he won't call<br />Or ever write back.<br />You stuck your nose in<br />So now I fight back.<br />So run for the forests<br />Hide for you life.<br />You don't want me angry<br />While carrying a knife.<br />Cause I'll make each wound count<br />And you'll get what you deserve<br />Bleed bitch now,<br />Can you tell I'm perturbed?<br />This anger, it kills<br />Ha, Ain't I funny?<br />But you dug the grave<br />For youself this time hunny.<br />So either leave me alone now,<br />Or be prepared for a fight.<br />Cause you took my joy<br />And its time to make it right.<br />So run now sweetie<br />You're going to die.<br />Life will be good<br />Your blood is mine.<br /><br />there's no chorus, or any real tempo. its just me babbeling and venting off anger.. heh. if u take offence to that, too bad, fuck you, just don't read it :-D I'm going out to eat now.<br /><br />PEACE EASY; LOVE HARD urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:fallsalot174:927 2004-02-15T22:09:45Z 2004-02-15T22:09:45Z The Offspring Shit im still bored. But when I'm bored I get inspired and I write more songs so yay! Here is another.<br /><br />*For Today*<br />Another kid in another fight<br />Another one almost died last night<br /><br />Another kid in another town<br />Shot himself cause she shot him down<br /><br />Don't take this life for granted<br />Treasure what you've been handed<br />These random acts of violence<br />They all just seem so mindless<br />Don't take your life for granted<br />Treasure what you've been handed<br />It can be taken away<br />So please just live for today<br /><br />Another kid and his best friend<br />Brought guns to class and decided it was the end<br /><br />Another plane explodes in the sky<br />It's not the fireworks, it's their beauty that makes us cry<br /><br />Don't take this life for granted<br />Treasure what you've been handed<br />These random acts of violence<br />They all just seem so mindless<br />Don't take your life for granted<br />Treasure what you've been handed<br />It can be taken away<br />So please just live for today<br /><br />Why do we hurt each other?<br />Why did you leave me Father?<br />Our prayers are left unanswered<br />In all this violent cancer<br /><br />Don't take this life for granted<br />Treasure what you've been handed<br />These random acts of violence<br />They all just seem so mindless<br />Don't take your life for granted<br />Treasure what you've been handed<br />It can be taken away<br />It can be taken away<br />It can be taken away<br />Live with the power to be afraid<br /><br />I have like, 12 songs now. That's like an entire album right? haha go me! Something smells. I think it's my dog cause she hasn't had a bath in a bit and shes getting a lil stinky but im too lazy to do anything about it. <br />Screw this, im going out. PIZZOUT NEGROS urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:fallsalot174:606 2004-02-15T15:55:22Z 2004-02-15T15:55:22Z Classic Ozzy Yea, Sunday's are definately lame. I call it the 'hangover day.' It's why you can never find anything to do: everyone is still hungover so therefore the businesses feel no obligation to provide entertainment for the day. And for those non-sinners who are not hungover, there is church. Then there's people like me who, no matter what, don't really get hangover's and never feel the wrath of alcohol and are left bored on lovely Sunday's. On the bright side, I had some inspiration and wrote a new song... <br /><br />Hey sexy baby, what’s your name<br />Age is a number, sex is a game<br />Make it in a graveyard on a tombstone in the rain<br />Take your body away from me<br />Take your innocence away<br /><br />Fly angel fly into the<br />Night of the wishing ghost<br />I pray for your safe return to sanity<br />No escape from reality<br /><br />Hey sexy baby you’re much too young<br />Hey sexy daddy let’s have some fun<br />Sometimes it’s good to feel a little pain<br />God knows it’s better than feeling the same<br />Take your body away from me<br />Take your innocence away<br /><br />Fly angel fly into the<br />Night of the wishing ghost<br />I pray for your safe return from this fantasy<br />No escape from reality<br /><br />Can you feel it baby<br />Can you feel me now<br />Can you feel it baby<br />Can you feel me now<br />Tell me why God made me<br />Made me feel this way<br />If it feels so wrong baby<br />Make him take it away<br />Can you feel it baby<br />Sink into your skin<br />Can you feel it baby<br />Feel the scars of sin<br />Tell me why God made me<br />Made me feel like this<br />If it feels so wrong baby<br />Just give it a little kiss<br /><br />No, but I know it’s all so wrong to think like this<br />Please baby don’t ask just go along<br />No, I can’t let myself think like this<br />Betrayed innocence with the price of a kiss<br />Please take yourself away from me<br />Please take your innocence away<br /><br />Fly angel fly into the<br />Night of the wishing ghost<br />I pray for your safe return to sanity<br />Get me out of this fantasy <br />.... yea OK that's it. To show you how bored I am, I am stuck going shopping with a guy! Yahoo... <br />Toodels...! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:fallsalot174:278 2004-02-14T19:37:06Z 2004-02-14T19:37:06Z Valentines Day! Note that I haven't included the word happy? Yea that's cause most people don't have Valentine's so why depress them anymore? So here's my rundown of last night: went shopping around 5ish to help out a friend with buying a gift for her new beau. She ended up not getting him one by the way... Didn't buy anything for myself so it was a wasted shopping trip for me. Got home from that around six. In two hours I had five voice-mails. Go figure, the one night I have something to do everyone wants to go somewhere. I only called back one of those people. The rest can take the hint and figure it out for themselves. Ain't I a bitch? Shower, then dinner. Made myself stake, or tried to. The phone went off and I forgot about my stake till I heard the fire alarm going off. It was well done... not my preferance but it works. Then called up Mikey so we could go out that night and he came to my place to get me. Went from my house to Rachael's and guess who was already drunk? Yep, that's right. We left her at home. Then went to see Sarah and Ryan and Bob and all the other people who I don't feel like listing. Me and Mikey left around 11ish and went to Danny's to pick up the amps we just bought from him but he was passed out on his couch and neglected to wake up for us. Got home around 12:30 and watched 'How High'... great movie by the way, especially if your bored. Fell asleep around 2 and woke up today at about noon. I'm going to exchange gifts with Mikey now since neither of us had Valentines and then I have to try to sign up me and Kara for kickboxing.<br /> have a happpy Vday!!